Happiness is a Warm Gun
A Creative Writing Fiction Short Story by Travis Forward
“Travis every girl I have ever been in a relationship with, I wouldn’t hesitate to cheat on. In fact, I’ve cheated on every girl I’ve had: “friends with benefits,” “girlfriend,” “implied romance,” you name it buddy I’ve done it” Julius said.
Julius was talking as we walked toward one of our favorite cafés on a sunny day in Buenos Aires. We had been friends for the past six months. I was new to the country here studying as an exchange student at The University of Buenos Aries.
I was listening to him rave on and on about how much of a player he was. In actuality, he was much more than that.
“Yo, T-rav, there was this one occasion, I had a fiance. I purchased her the engagement band, and everything told her how much I love her. I even did the ‘old stop in the middle of a park while we were walking in the middle of a crowded Sunday afternoon and got on the one knee thing as I proposed. It’s crazy how much this broad actually believed me, I didn’t feel a thing. I saw her face tear up. I saw it in her eyes, this exuberance, the kind that overcomes a person; the kind that makes one thing that for a second the universe stands still. I saw her realization that for once in her life everything is working out for her.”
As he was talking, I started thinking about how much I missed my family back home in Texas, especially my sister. We hadn’t spoken in over
five years, and she would love this country. I wish she were here.
Julius was on a roll.
“Meantime, I just wanted to see her face when she realizes it’s all a lie. When her tears don’t overflow in joy, but are withdrawn, puff up the front and are afraid to fall. It’s all a hoax. The girl fell for someone who would never settle for her. She says, “I’ve never believed in love until I met you.”And I just think the whole time, “I’ll never believe in love until I crack your heart to prove it exists.” He said.
“Mr. T I’’ll put it to you like this…I fracture hearts you might say, but never designedly. I’d like to think that it is a society that breaks their hearts. Teaches these women to depend on a guy like me, teaches them to believe there exists a circumstance like soulmates. Whatever they think they perceive of me, and what they have been shown to accept of me by generalities based on my natural tendencies to be a “nice” guy.” said Julius
“ T, I have learned in my research, that their misunderstandings of what really is the reality are what breaks their hearts. I am of the school of thought, where to live just means to adapt and survive. I don’t entangle myself with the peculiarities and subtleties of love.” He said
Every time Julius would pause and actually stop talking about himself he would look over to get affirmation that I was listening to him. I would use every ounce of power in my soul to force a Sullivan, that being a Sullivan nod.
“Travo you see I’m a renaissance man, my freedom is logic- my art is the reason. Either I am indulged or indulge. The present moment is my forte. So ladies, if we encounter, I mean no harm.” he said.
“Travis, the way I treat a lady is only an extension of my own interpretation of love. Some folks love differently than others, I love in a way our society may not currently understand. Unquestionably, God, Himself would not hold me accountable for my own perception of love, so neither should you. , Love is love.” Julius said
Julius turned to see some sign of affirmation from me as we walked. Some form of recognition, perhaps a Sullivan Nod. This time he didn’t get a forced smile a happy grin or a Sullivan, what he got was a short monologue from yours truly….
“I’ve been to every city in Argentina. In Brazil, I saw the bodies of two University of Florida students who had been vacationing. They had been gagged, raped, mutilated and thrown into the ocean. I once found a passport belonging to you in Columbia. That was two years ago. That led me to Santiago Chile, and I almost caught up with you there. I was off by just a few days.” I said.
“I almost gave up but came back to Argentina on a hunch you would return to Buenos Aires, your hometown” I said.
The blood had left Julius face has he stopped walking, and stone cold stared through me with laser beam precision and evil eyes not too far off from the eyes beholden of a Hanibal Lector, but probably closer to Charlie Manson
BANG BANG BANG.
Before I shot Julius Fuentes, two shots in the nuts and then one in the guts, I will tell you one thing. It took me a long time to gain his trust as a friend, and that took every ounce of my being to do, but here we are. This is D Day. Which means Die Day. Meaning this is the day I shoot him.
I had been on the hunt for this fugitive a sadistic, psychopathic criminal who had peeked the interest of countries around the world who wanted him captured and brought to justice. It took me five years for this walk. A peaceful stroll in beautiful Argentia.
As for myself, not a spy, nor a member of any intelligence agencies, I only had one motive. I wanted him dead. Dead for rapping, trusting and killing my sister five years ago. He had stalked and killed many women, he was the modern-day equivalent to Ted Bundy.
BANG BANG BANG were the sounds of three gunshots and the sounds of sweet delight to my soul.
Two tears in a bucket mother fuckit as Lady Chablis said in one of my favorite movies, “Midnight in The Garden of Good and Evil.”
I walked away and disappeared into the crowd leaving him to rot and bled to death and die in broad daylight, I couldn’t handle any more of his bullshit.
As I walked away, I wondered and speculated that there was a minuscule chance he would survive getting shot twice in the balls and once in the stomach. Regardless, even if he did survive the chances of him ever evading an arrest or living a healthy life again had a greater chance than 0.
I disappeared into the crowd with a smile on my face and a song in my head sung by the Beatles…..”Happiness is a Warm” gun.